Whether we know it or not, we each have a box within our mind where we stuff away some of our thoughts, ideas, dreams, fears, and prejudices. We started when we were young, not even aware of doing it. It could have been something like your fear of water, or an old saying such as “if you step on a crack, you break your mother’s back,” or the idea that you’re not successful unless you are rich, or the belief that you’ll never amount to anything, or the dream of becoming a doctor despite coming from a low-income family, or so many other things. Those thoughts or ideas we unwittingly hold onto and have held close have influenced our way of living.

Do you believe your hopes and dreams cannot become real, so it is best not to bring them out of your box? Do you feel your prejudices are the only way to think? Have you allowed whatever you have put into your box to stay there without thought or review, or are they stuck there because you are unwilling to see them differently?

Maybe it is time you look inside your box to see what you have placed inside and whether any of them are worth keeping. Time sheds new light and perspective on our life experiences, so those beliefs, prejudices, hopes, and dreams may not be the same today as when you put them inside…yet they remain there.

Sometimes, it takes courage to look inside your box. Most humans don’t like change, nor do we like to be wrong about anything. We’ll fight to the end to prove our thoughts are the only way for people to think or act.

Once you take the leap and open your box, you may be surprised that it contains more negative than positive ideas and beliefs. When you consider each thought or belief, you must evaluate whether those destructive ones have become a part of who you are. This review can be painful, but when you study them, you will realize that the negative ones are based on fear, and by exposing them as that, they lose their fearfulness and power.

By exploring your box, you can tell how you live your life. Do you live like the glass is half-empty or half-full? By releasing some of what you have stuffed into your thought box that no longer serves you, you will find yourself feeling freer and less burdened in your everyday living.

This is a crucial time in our history when every thought matters. It has become so easy to blame everyone and everything for anything negative in our lives that we feel we have no power over how we live. We have forgotten that it is us alone that creates how we live. Our life is nothing more or less than a chain of our choices. Knowing this, it’s a time to get out a broom, open your mind box, sweep out what no longer suits you, and live the way you want with love, peace, gratitude, and happiness.

JOAN S. PECK is an editor and author of short stories, spiritual books, and novels and a contributing author in several anthologies. She served as former Editor in Chief for Chic Compass magazine, an international magazine based in Las Vegas.

Joan is a writer of both non-fiction and fiction books. She first began writing in 2008 as an author of spiritual non-fiction books. Prime Threat Shattering the Power of Addiction, written with her son after his death in 2005, won a Top Shelf Book Award Nominee.

Nine years later, she published her first fiction books under the pen name J.S. Peck and won a Top Pick for Spirited Woman for Death on the Strip, the first book of her six-book mystery Death Card Series. Through her strong, likable characters, Joan has become known for expressing addiction and human sex trafficking concerns throughout her fiction books. She has an extraordinary writing ability filled with humor and tenderness that brings readers into each book’s storyline, holding them hostage until the end.

Her books are available on all book sites, and her website (Writing with Soul) – www.JoanSPeck.com

With all the name-calling and things taken out of context and spread across social media, where does that leave the truth? Has it become that truth is left like beauty “in the eyes of the beholder,” or is there more to it?

Although there is such a thing as perspective and seeing things from one’s own viewpoint, how does that work when dealing with others demanding only their way of seeing things or the highway?

We have reached a divide that is ever deepening within our country today, leaving all of us bewildered by knowing that the truth in most situations is murky. We no longer trust those in power to speak the whole truth. Indeed, we have seen this repeatedly demonstrated in high-profile tweets that twist any situation to override the facts and real happenings to prevent personal degradation.

That worries me.

Have we become so lazy that it is easier to believe an untruth rather than seek the truth by looking into a situation from many different angles and reaching our own conclusions? Or is it easier to accept negative thoughts and ideas that brew violence?

Some of us today seem to get a thrill from downgrading another person without seeking the truth. They are the discontents of the world, pursuing satisfaction from hurting someone else—a dark side to human beings that brings out the “beast” in us.

We see that when children and adults get bullied. They are picked upon by someone who feels threatened in some way. The bully starts the taunting … but never alone. Bullies always gather others around them, calling out disparaging, hurtful things, and untruths, leaving the one bullied with little recourse to make things right. From there, it can escalate into physical violence. And we all know what that can lead to—broken hearts and even death.

Listen to the news or scan social media, and you can see the massive, unending misinformation that exists today. Truth doesn’t stand a chance.

Is it truth to speak ill of another person? Is it truth to steal from another? Is it truth to physically hurt someone else? Is it truth to threaten or take another’s life for having a different stance or opinion?

We will never realize our TRUTH unless we can understand and accept that we are all one.

It is simple, really. Everything is energy … every single thing … coming from one source. We all are connected by being part of that same source of energy. What one does to another, one does to all.

Truth is knowing that our purpose in life is to act in the energy of love, show kindness and consideration to another, and allow differences of opinion without threat. Truth is loving ourselves enough to be in harmony with the Universe. Truth is living the best we can to model our good words and actions to all children who depend upon us for protection against malice. That is our TRUTH.

Most of us have played the “Monkey in the Middle” game as kids. For those who may not know the game, it is where one stands in the middle and is designated as the monkey. The other players throw a ball to each other, back and forth, keeping it away from the one in the middle. The challenge is for the monkey to get the ball back.

That is what the problem can be for entrepreneurs who are continuously involved with their businesses. Others try to grab their attention and distract them from what they should or could be doing, and, in time, they become the monkey in the middle!

And it’s so easy to get caught like that. It usually begins with small requests from friends or business colleagues needing your assistance or wanting to socialize with you. But, like anything else, those requests may become demands unless curtailed. And by the simple fact of being a woman with our innate desire to be helpful, you may find it challenging to set boundaries and make room for yourself and your business, which continuously needs your attention.

I’ve discovered that if I give too much of myself away to satisfy another’s needs, I resent the time taken from me. Whose fault is that? I must remind myself that it’s certainly not the person asking for my attention because I control my life and choices alone.

Another perspective about becoming the monkey in the middle is that you stand alone, heightening the thought that you, as an entrepreneur, must do everything yourself. That idea is a downward spiral that gets you nowhere, for once you are afraid to let go of controlling all aspects of your business, you limit its growth and perhaps even cause its death.

As the monkey, getting those around you to support you and your business becomes your challenge. And it’s not as difficult as you may think. When you loosen the reins of your company, you release the stress and tension of doing everything yourself and begin to enjoy the camaraderie brought on by having others supporting you and creating with you.

The question often arises as to how you gather those people around you. It’s pretty simple…you ask for their support. Once they are on board, it is up to you to acknowledge and thank them in all the ways you can. Appreciation gives flight to creativity while it soothes the soul.

Like that poor monkey in the middle, no one wants to be excluded from everything around them. No one wants to feel alone—especially you, as an entrepreneur. It’s crucial to gather like-minded people around you, give back, and share the knowledge with them and others, the things you’ve learned that will help them succeed. The more you give, the more is returned to you.

Yet, the bottom line of everything in life is our choices. As a fan of Dr. Seuss, I’ll sometimes read through some of his quotes. I read this one and thought it was perfect for this article. What do you think?

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…” – Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Those of us who have experienced the 1950s and the somewhat naïve living portrayed on television with shows like “Father Knows Best,” “Leave It to Beaver,” and “The Donna Reed Show” are dismayed at how far we’ve departed from what they represented. For many, those shows highlighted the importance of loving and spending time with your family and reaffirming manners and etiquette.

Men held doors for women; we played and got along with the other kids in our neighborhood because they were our neighbors; we watched over the elderly by carrying their groceries, mowing their lawns, and shoveling snow for them, and without any formality, a neighborhood watch existed because everyone watched out for everyone else at that time. If we did something we shouldn’t be doing, it was reported to our parents without them becoming defensive. Right was right, and wrong was wrong …. unlike today.

Today, few seem to own up to the consequences of their own making. Today, our society lives in the shadows, where people do not live their highest good, where the unacceptable has become acceptable. We live in fear. If those in power don’t like what we have to say, we are threatened with retaliation. Because of social media, anyone can say, do, and threaten another person or group without proper guidelines or consequences. Truth is often wholly misrepresented, and the unhappy, discontented folks grab onto the lies to ease their anger or sense of powerlessness or injustice.

We have fostered the false idea that our children are or should be perfect and no one is a loser; for example, whether their sports team wins or not, they are still winners. We have modeled for our children a sense of feeling slighted if they don’t constantly receive praise for whatever they do, even cleaning up their room or taking out the garbage, even though it is their responsibility. We have demonstrated and allowed our children to believe that if something doesn’t go their way, it is someone’s fault … not their own.

We want to blame anyone but ourselves for things that have happened in our lives, not to our liking. We are unwilling to accept responsibility for where we are in life, and therein lies one of the problems. We have forgotten that life is a chain of choices … made by us. Only we are responsible for the choices we make.

One of the most significant downfalls from softer times is that no one is allowed to disagree with another without staking a side. Instead, we want others to agree with whatever we believe, period. We demand consensus for whatever we express. If not, those who disagree with us become our enemies. We name-call, ridicule, and humiliate our enemies, and some go so far as to threaten their health and lives for not agreeing with them. We fail to acknowledge that differences exist to broaden our perspective from a different angle, and we need that to grow and expand our horizons.

So, where does that leave you and me? If we, along with everyone else, would sit, relax, and let our minds connect to our inner energy … the soul energy… we would rediscover the knowledge that we are all one and understand that anything negative we do to another affects us all.

The good news? The reverse is true as well. Anything positive we do for another affects us all as well. When that happens, the love energy … the highest energy … of what you’ve done with kindness spreads love into the ether and around us all. And it doesn’t take much, either. It can be a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and so much more. All it takes is for us to think before we take action.

We need to claim the power of love and change the world. We can do it!

The earlier spiritual books regarding the chakras I wrote were pretty academic, with explanations and to-do advice. Only after writing Prime Threat, the book written with my son from the other side about addictions, did I become better attuned to the world around me and the true spiritual ways of living.

As I began writing my novels for the mystery-romance-paranormal Death Card series, I realized I had no idea what I was doing! It was a different way of writing by letting my thoughts wander and opening myself up to receiving ideas and expressions instead of more tangible things.

I was in such a hurry to write down the stories that came to me and to get the books published that I made the biggest mistake of all writing … not taking the time to do a final edit … shame on me as an editor.

So, I’m now in the middle of re-editing my books in the Death Card series and find myself enjoying reading what I’ve written. I hadn’t realized how often I referred to the idea of being attuned to nature and knew that some words I’d written were gifts to me from the Universe, such as this one from Book 5 – Death on the Run.

The Chief stood and took his time telling how the Navajo beliefs (like most Native American Indian ideas) were based on how they appreciated and treated nature—how it mattered to be attuned to nature’s energies. “It is not one of competition to nature but one of completion with it that makes it our true foundation.”

He further explained that “our music and the beat of our drums soothes the heartbeat of nature and all attuned to it, while our words of gratitude open our human hearts. As we strengthen our beliefs along life’s journey, it draws the stars closer as we begin our dance in the heavens with the Great One, who confirms that we are all one in energy with nature and humankind.”

Reading those words made my heart twist, knowing that we have stepped far away from being attuned to Mother Nature, who is now rebelling against the treatment she receives daily—affecting air, water, and earth. We have missed out by not experiencing the joy of being attuned to the energies of how to live simply with gratitude. What will it take for us to make the necessary changes so that Mother Nature is again the provider of all our needs?

Years ago, I foolishly thought that it would take all the adults at one time to make the changes necessary to re-capture the balance of nature instead of realizing the power of one, then another, then another. Even so, disappointedly, we adults seem too busy fighting over money and the power it brings to accomplish what we need to do. Instead, it is our children out on the streets protesting our lack of taking on the burden of change so they can survive the world we have created and left for them, where guns and climate change are out of control.

The question is, are we willing to listen to and act upon our children’s requests?

With so much happening in the world today, people are questioning life as we know it and their role in it. It is impossible to ignore how many people verbalize and ask, “What is my purpose?” They want to know why they are here. Many are floundering and feeling at odds with being at peace with themselves, believing they have missed the mark.

For those who know me, my quick response to what I believe our purpose is—“To love. Love is the most important thing.”

Although I believe my response is the most meaningful, I learned something the other day that put a whole new perspective on finding purpose in life and how it can help others find theirs more definitively.

A dear friend of mine shares a house with her son, his wife, and two children. They share some of the chores and cooking. It is lovely for all of them and has worked out exceptionally well. Since it was her night to cook, we had to stop our conversation, and she ended it by saying, “It’s nice to have purpose.”

I thought about what she’d said and realized how out of whack most of us view the meaning of purpose. We are trained by society to believe in excessive terms when we define our purpose and our role in life.

My friend has a regular 9 to 5 job, and cooking dinner several times a week is just one of many things she does at home and in the larger world. Her idea that cooking gave her purpose made me look at the concept differently and more straightforwardly.

It means that as a writer of novels, I don’t have to be a best-seller to have meaning and a sense of accomplishment. Another friend, who earns more than six figures a year and feels he has failed because he hasn’t made $1 million, doesn’t have to reach that goal to have a sense of accomplishment. Have we reached the point where we think having a purpose means an extraordinary achievement? If so, does that mean anything less doesn’t count?

We know better than that. It’s the daily accomplishments that give us purpose in being. Beyond that, it’s a sense of gratitude for accomplishing those small tasks that bring us joy and a sense of purpose.

I have found myself amazed by some of the seniors I come in contact with and hear their stories about their life, bringing them to where they are today. We each accomplish so much in our way. It has made me wonder if our true purpose in life is to be open to the opportunities that come our way and, like the many seniors who feel fulfilled, treat those experiences as if it was like catching the brass ring on the merry-go-round of life. Then, maybe, our purpose is simply to enjoy life. What do you think?

Relationships can be tricky. They never remain the same. They are constantly changing like a free-flowing river; it just depends on how many times you put your toe into that river with a thought, word, or action to the degree it changes.

Relationships can be fleeting, like the flash of a smile, or they can endure like a 60-year-plus marriage. They can be loving, like the greeting of a baby at birth, or as destructive as a rape. But each counts. Each is powerful, for that experience becomes a part of who we are, no matter its significance.

Until recently, I thought of the term relationship much like most of us think of it as primarily the relationship or link we have with our significant other or others in our life:  our love connection, our family, our friends, and so forth. But I have grown to realize relationships and connections are much more widespread; we simply need to be aware of them. They are often the synchronicities of life, and we unwittingly play a part in them.

For example, many of us go through periods in our life (particularly when we seek a mate) where we try on relationships like a piece of clothing to see if that person suits us and if that relationship is a “fit.”  There is something about being in that state of mind where it seems easier to discard what doesn’t work without much thought. And yet, it is then that we can most easily affect another in a negative, hurtful way.

But who is to say that may not be part of the larger plan? Maybe being rejected is to allow us to become emotionally determined in the belief of our goodness despite any external judgment of us since the most significant relationship that anyone can have is the relationship one has with itself. Only when we can accept and love ourselves can we experience the most extraordinary relationship of all … one with the Oneness of All That Is. And therein lies the reason for our journey here on earth—the opportunity to experience ALL of life and to be able to connect with others.

At the end of our journey lies our purpose in life and what really matters most:  how much we have loved. And that includes the love of all beyond humans.

How does that work? Most of us can appreciate the relationship and love we have for our pets … particularly in our culture, where we tend to humanize our pets and allow them to ride next to us in the car, accompany us on vacation trips, and wear clothes and accessories fashioned after humans. What beyond that? Because everything is energy, we can have a relationship with anything! It can be as simple as connecting to an individual plant or anything in Mother Nature.

I overheard a woman telling her friend that she had a very “good relationship” with food. But what did she mean? At the time, I thought her comment very odd since, until then, I hadn’t given much thought to having a relationship with food even though I love fine food. The more I thought about it, her statement made sense to me. If we can love something and appreciate it more, we can have a “good relationship” with it. In her case, if we can recognize and honor the animals, fish, vegetables, grains, and fruit that provide for us, it allows us to connect with them, thereby establishing a relationship with them.

Isn’t that the way all “good relationships” work? It is when we love, honor, and respect those we encounter, even in a small way, without expecting or demanding anything in return. As we become more aware of those around us, human or not, the number of potentially good relationships is without limit, and our world can become filled with the joy of living in ways beyond what we could have imagined. How blessed we are!

“A single rose can be my garden… a single friend, my world.”  ~Leo Buscaglia

Although we have another month to go before Spring is official, I believe February is the time of year when most of us breathe a sigh of relief that warmer weather and all it brings will become a reality in the not-too-distant future. And, too, it is the time that we “spring forward” with our clocks. Just the idea of springing forward brings a smile to my face. What will I bring forward? What will you bring forward?

If you are like me, the coming of Spring signifies possibilities and new beginnings, which become apparent when we look around us. It’s there when we see a flower peek its head through the snow to bask in the sunshine and show off its magnificent cloak of beauty. It’s there when we hear baby birds chirp loudly, demanding food from their parents. It’s there when we taste it with the season’s newly harvested fresh greens, herbs, and other things. Without being consciously aware of it, those things instill a rebirth of the spirit in us—and we spring forward with new energy and ideas.

I chuckle when I realize any New Year’s resolutions I made often need to be renewed in February … a perfect time to do it. And I know that I’m not alone. There’s something about being in the doldrums of winter that saps the intensity of our desire to change or edit what we are doing or thinking. So February offers itself as a new beginning for us to spring forward.

If I expand my idea of a new beginning for myself to include a fresh start for all of us, I need to lean on the belief that by combining our spiritual energies, we have the power to change the world.

Who of us wouldn’t want to be able to feed the starving children and adults around the world digging for scraps to eat? Or protect those people hunting for a safe place amid bombs dropping and destroying buildings and killing people? Or young girls beaten and denied the freedom to attend schools to become their own person? Or people of all ages and colors who get bullied and cannot cope, looking to escape through death? And what about the daily unkindnesses and disrespect we allow to happen among us? And what do we do about the abuse of drugs that is killing so many young people? And so much more?

Is all that happening because we don’t care, or do we not know what to do about it? When I become overwhelmed with wanting to change those things that hurt others and feel powerless to do anything about it, I have to look at what I know to be true—the love energy heals all.

If each time we see or hear of abuse of any kind, we send love and healing to the people involved and into the energy that connects us all, it makes a difference—it is more powerful than you can imagine. Think of the multiplier effect used in economics, where an increase in spending produces an increase in national income and consumption greater than the initial amount spent. Now, look at the multiplier effect using the love energy based on the principle that high levels of love can have spillover effects on individuals. What you say to one can have multiple results. How great is that?

For me, the idea of springing forward has to include opening my mind and awareness of what’s happening around me so that I can do a better job of sending love forward to where it is needed. What does springing forward mean to you?

Synchronicity … unexpected gifts. How often has something that seems to come out of the blue happened in your life? Almost as if a response to something thought yet not spoken? I’m talking about something unusual, perhaps even a bit weird, because it’s so unexpected. It’s as if something inside you or some energy larger than life is responding to your needs, sometimes without you even being aware of what you need.

Think of the unusual stories you hear about. A person has capsized their boat and is treading water, exhausted and about to give up, when a porpoise suddenly pops up beside them and leads them to shore. Or perhaps a log drifts to them, and they can grasp onto it and keep afloat until they are rescued.

Synchronicity can be an unmistakable sign related to some internal struggle you’re experiencing. It might be you’re feeling lost and alone when suddenly you smell the same fragrance your mother or grandmother wore or hear a loved one’s name whispered on the wind bringing their love to your mind and heart. It might be that you can see clearly in your mind’s eye the face of a person important to you, prompting you to reach out to them. It could be that when you close your eyes, you have words come to you that have a positive influence on your future thoughts and actions.

To me, the most remarkable thing about synchronicity is that it proves that we are not alone! There is a connection.

Have you ever been meditating or even sitting and relaxing when a vision comes to you where you see an event happening so real you even experience the feelings that go along with it? It happens to all of us whether we are willing to recognize it for what it is or not. Then, along comes the thought and a strong sense it was something you either experienced in another time or place, or it’s going to be part of the future—a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens. You know what I’m talking about … that sense of knowing.

If you believe as I do that everything is energy, that alone tells us that we are all connected. Because of that connection, it is possible to sense someone else’s emotional energy and respond to it. In other words, since energy is energy and everything is energy, we are not limited in any way to be able to connect to those in non-human forms, such as one who has died and is no longer present on earth. In turn, because energy doesn’t die and only changes form, those who have passed still have the energetic power to connect with us. Those moments of inseparableness are how synchronicity works. It’s that connection.

I believe the greatest gift from synchronicity is knowing there are so many energies in human and non-human forms that surround us, wanting the best for us. They are there to give us love, guidance, and support. All we have to do is allow our minds to wander and be curious about our environment, becoming more aware and open to receiving their wonderful messages to take advantage of all they reveal. Think about it! Isn’t it lovely to know we are never alone? A gift indeed.

My first memory of leadership has to be when my older brother of nearly 5 was the leader marching around the house trailing Cheerios along his path, with my twin sister and me following behind, shrieking and laughing while stepping on and crushing as many of those little circles as we could!

Yet, is anyone who has willing followers really a leader? Does simply having followers make for an effective leader? I daresay that my mother probably thought that my brother had been very successful when our actions caused her to continue to find cheerios in the depth of the couch pockets for a long time afterward. But what is authentic leadership about?

There has to be something within the leader that urges them to express themselves by speech, written words, pictorial vision, stance, or action that demands a reaction from others. And they have to do it without fear of consequences. By doing so, that confidence in their belief is often the attraction to draw others to them. Sometimes that connection with others is short-lived, mainly if a problem or situation has been solved. Other times, conflicts without resolution can go on forever without an agreeable ending in sight.

Most good leaders develop a sense of power that is positive when used for the benefit of others. If not, their influence can lead to negative behavior, such as when it affords them financial gain at the expense of others or their power creates a blindness to morality or the code of ethics, thereby expressing a sense of entitlement that has no bounds. We see this when many engaged in politics and sports cross those lines. As a whole, we as a society equate leadership with power conveyed as money power. That limits us from viewing leadership as a whole, making that role less than an excellent thing.

Those of us that consider someone else a true leader usually can relate and agree with the leader’s philosophy in some way. For me, our world’s true leaders are those who recognize that we are all one—each the other—and go about their business in a less showy manner—for example, Mother Theresa.

The most significant concern I have is seeing our supposed leaders in the media with a plan of their own who respond to any contrasting ideas in an accusatory, unkind, and disingenuous way toward others who disagree with them. There is a broadening sense that being uncivil about opposing views is okay, which is anything but what a true leader is or has been in the past.

According to Susan Tardanico, CEO in Residence at the Center for Creative Leadership, the Common Traits of a Courageous and Effective Leader are the following.

1. Seek feedback and listen.
2. Say what needs to be said.
3. Encourage push-back
4. Take action on performance issues.
5. Communicate openly and frequently.
6. Lead change.
7. Make decisions and move forward.
8. Give credit to others.
9. Hold people (and yourself) accountable.

When I consider these various traits, I wonder if they also need to be applied to become a Courageous and Effective follower. What do you think?