You most likely have heard various expressions about beauty, such as “beauty is as beauty does” or “beautiful inside and out.” But the term that made me stop and ponder is the expression “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.”

I remember that my first reaction to that expression had been faulty in that I immediately went to that space of thinking that it was up to someone else as the beholder to declare whether or not I was beautiful! After all, we are such an outward thinking society, always looking outside of ourselves to define who we are, that my early reaction had seemed appropriate to me then.

Think about it! From a very young age, we women mainly get messages from all the media that we need to be beautiful, thin, and stylish. And we are given so many choices of beauty aids to help us become someone other than who we are that the message becomes loud and clear . . . you need help! You never see ads or public announcements that say you are beautiful just the way you are … and we begin to believe that we can’t be beautiful unless we use the right products or do the right things to make us so. Pointed out to us in many ways is the message that there always is something we can improve upon, whether it is how we dress, our hair color and style, and, of course, any aspects of our body shape. All of this free advice only stimulates the thought that we are not perfect as we are and probably never will be, even though many of us feel compelled to strive throughout our life to be beautiful – always on another’s terms.

Thank God for those of us who have reached the stage in life where we gave up caring to be perfect and beautiful! And the exciting thing for many of us after getting to that stage in life is that we became more beautiful! How did that happen? What did we do differently?

We began to like ourselves as we are and became aware of some of the living aspects that create an inner glow that lightens our faces and adds sparkle to our eyes.

1. Gratitude
   We became increasingly aware of all our blessings and are grateful for them:  good health, good friends and family, and abundance in many forms.
2. Acceptance of Self
   We have had enough life experiences that taught us we weren’t perfect, and we finally gave in and accepted it. It became easier to say, “So what?”
3. No Comparisons
   We no longer compare ourselves with others, having learned that it might be our turn next if something wonderful happens to someone else.
4. Joy
   We find joy in the little things . . . a bird that sits in the tree and serenades us, a child giggling with a buddy, a call from an old friend, or joy in all those circumstances that bring us happiness.
5. Faith
   We have faith that all is as it should be, and if it isn’t, we have the power and strength to change what needs to be changed. We believe that we are not alone and are always protected by our guides and angels.

Now when I hear the expression “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” I know and appreciate who the beholder is – ME!

Most of us easily express gratitude daily when we say “thank you” to someone for something they have given us or have done for us. But the truth is, we often say it more like a responsive habit without much feeling or thought. Expressing “thank you” as an acknowledgment of something positive that has affected us is valuable and positive for all parties involved. Yet, we often limit ourselves to view one situation at a time, easily forgetting the enormity of all we can be grateful for, which can be tremendous when acknowledged.

Animals are so expressive in their simplistic acts that they can touch us in ways that humans can’t. This is even true for our household animals who continuously show us their gratitude in little ways, all their own. Often, animals unwittingly play a leadership role in our lives because something will happen that focuses our attention on an event that brings home the moral consciousness of gratitude that we may have let slip.

In the news not long ago, there was a story regarding a whale that was in trouble.

“A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so badly off that the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her from the fishing net wrapped around her… a very dangerous proposition.

One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her from the ropes that had trapped her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.  She then returned to each diver, one at a time, nudged them, and pushed gently, thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The man who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.”

After reading that story, I was encouraged to be more grateful for what I did have and not focus on “coming from lack.”  But, in fact, I still needed a wake-up call.

As fate would have it, a friend of mine gave me a present that changed my outlook on my life for good. She handed me a package, and when I opened it, a mirror with words written along a spiraling circle lay in the box. The words began from the middle of the whorl and ended at the outside circle:  “Ask, Believe, Visualize, Act, and Enjoy.”  It is called a Gratitude Mirror, one that anyone can easily make. It came with printed gratitude statements stamped on soft plastic strips that easily adhere to the glass and  some blank strips so that I could make my own. She suggested that I hang my mirror in my bathroom because that is the first room in the house that I walk into each morning and the last room I am in at night. That would give me a way to start and end my day – with gratitude!

I hate to admit that the first one I made for myself was “I am grateful for my financial abundance.”  When I placed it near the printed one that read “I am grateful for all the abundance in my life,” I realized how limiting my statement was. I stood there and was ashamed that with my first statement, I was closing myself off to the greater abundance in my life – love, good health, friendship, beautiful surroundings, and so much more.

Then, I learned to expand the meaning of ABUNDANCE to include AWARENESS. By being more aware, I could know and experience how blessed and fortunate I am to be living with so much abundance in my life every day. And I am grateful.

Let’s face it!  We are experiencing a very messy, angry way of living today with so many societies throughout the world in conflict with each other as well as individuals at odds with others within each of those societies.  I would like to say that this upheaval is something new but, unfortunately, it’s not.

As humans we have a propensity to gather negativity like furious little cancer cells that race to make a small irritation one large mass of anger and upset causing us to destroy good thoughts and deeds.  We even get caught up in power struggles between what one person believes vs. another’s belief.  We stubbornly hold unto our own ideas without any willingness to look at a different perspective which doesn’t allow for a broadening of knowledge which can create a greater chance for resolution.

Right now the most notable happening in our country is the presidential election which has provided the opportunity for us to shout hate slogans; accuse people of doings without proof; encourage harm done to those who don’t agree with us; excuse behavior so unbecoming that it hinges on lunacy; lose the sense of propriety that different perspectives should require, and lay blame on anyone but ourselves for our discontent.

And we humans LOVE all of this upheaval!  People haven’t become this engaged in what is going on around them in quite a while and it’s mostly due to the dark, negativity that abounds.  And we keep demanding more and more of this low energy because it is easier to hate than to love, which makes us a very lazy society indeed.

It’s hard to fully escape what is happening due to all the social media in place today.  The most disheartening thing for me to have seen on television was an average-looking family (mom, dad and two small children) wearing tee shirts with a slogan of hate written across it standing together in a crowd of protesters raising their fists in anger and shouting their slogan for all to see and hear.  Spittle flying and loud shouting must have been what caused the little girl to look up at her mother in confusion.  Sensing her dismay, her mother reached down and lifted her arm to show her how to shake it in anger.  The child had no real idea of what was going on or why but unwittingly was being taught her first step in developing blameful anger toward anyone who did not agree with her.  Hate begetting hate.

How can anyone find peace amid all of what is going on in our country and the rest of the world?  I can only share with you how I have come to be successful in finding my own peace.

• First of all, I try to avoid social media or talk with another that has anything to do with the election for it is hard to dismiss that negative energy after entertaining it for it becomes like gum to a shoe.  It sticks around for a while.
• The second thing I do is meditate to remind myself to let go of the idea that it is my responsibility to try to change anyone’s mind toward my own beliefs, not allowing them their own perspective.  In other words, I need to allow each person their own path in thinking and doing.  My role is to keep the faith that all will work out as it should.
• The third thing that I do on a daily basis is to say my “gratitudes” – all the things I am grateful for which by doing so automatically raises my energy to the highest level of love.  When I am in that space of awareness of all the beauty that surrounds me and all the positive things in my life, I no longer have the desire to entertain anything less.  I know I am blessed no matter my circumstances.
• The last thing I do is repeat my mantra.  To be completely at peace with myself and all the craziness that surrounds me, I developed a mantra that I repeat each night before I go to bed – “I send love and blessings to each and every one.  May we know and feel the love of God and know in our hearts we are all connected – all one – and treat each other the way we want to be treated.”

There is so much stress for everyone living today that it becomes essential to do what is necessary to climb out of our rabbit holes and find our peace within.  For each of us that may be different.  I only know that my rituals have helped me and continue to do so as long as I stick with them. Perhaps they will bring you peace as well.

Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”  Spirit says, “Find your peace, then everything will fall into place.” – Marianne Williamson

“Peace comes within.  Do not seek it without.” – Gautama Buddha