It’s interesting, to say the least, to have a conversation with someone, and walk away from it only to discover later that you each have a different perspective on what was said. Therefore, it’s no surprise that how we communicate today can lead to even greater confusion, hard feelings, misunderstandings, and more.

In softer and less hectic times, you might find yourself sitting with a friend, having coffee, and taking the time to discuss what each of you has on your mind. If any confusion or misunderstandings came up, they were worked out through face-to-face conversation at the time. So what has happened to bring us to where we are today?

I’m the first to admit that I’m not a fan of all the technology we have available today for several reasons.

We went from using our computers for typing and collecting data to the idea of communicating to the outside world through email. It was an excellent way to keep in touch with family and friends and also an effective avenue to conduct business worldwide. For the most part, it followed the proper form of written communication until cellular phones came onto the scene with the ability to text.

I love words—how they sound and what they stand for. So, I find texting to be lazy and tone deaf. I prefer speaking to someone rather than sending or receiving a text (or email). So, when texting became the norm, I was unhappy to receive GM for “Good Morning” (I had to ask someone what it meant) or Lol or any of the other codes or shortcuts used instead of spelled-out words. Writing texts without complete words and correct spelling has led us into a dark hole of losing the beauty and art of communication where ideas flow and discussion takes place.

But what discourages me most is what has happened with texting and the different avenues of expressing ourselves via social media. We have lost our sense of civility and the definition of what it means to be cordial and kind.

We say things through texting on our cell phones or messaging over social media that, back in the day, our mothers would have washed our mouths out with soap. We name-call, swear, and accuse others of terrible things that would have had us sent to our room for hours or grounded for weeks … at least in my house.

But for me, the saddest thing to come from our new way of communicating is that when we have the opportunity to discuss anything with another person face to face, we find ourselves (or them) delivering statements that close off further discussion. We become uncomfortable when someone doesn’t agree with us. Instead of discussing any difference of opinion, we don’t allow it and are no longer willing to talk about it or listen to it.

You know what I’m talking about… it’s “my way or the highway” communication. It’s so evident in our society today. We have become entrenched in our belief that what is right for us needs to be believed by everyone else to the point that we are unwilling to allow anyone their own belief … even to the extreme of killing someone who disagrees with us.

That worries me. We have never been more divided as a nation and never uglier in how we treat each other. Although we might be tempted to call out,  “Beam me up, Scottie,” it needs each of us to take a hard look at how we communicate with others and be willing to change what we need to improve it. Unless each of us adheres to the belief that everyone has a right to their opinion and treats each other cordially in person or with written words, nothing much is going to change.

And that would be a shame.

You most likely have heard various expressions about beauty, such as “beauty is as beauty does” or “beautiful inside and out.” But the term that made me stop and ponder is the expression “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.”

I remember that my first reaction to that expression had been faulty in that I immediately went to that space of thinking that it was up to someone else as the beholder to declare whether or not I was beautiful! After all, we are such an outward thinking society, always looking outside of ourselves to define who we are, that my early reaction had seemed appropriate to me then.

Think about it! From a very young age, we women mainly get messages from all the media that we need to be beautiful, thin, and stylish. And we are given so many choices of beauty aids to help us become someone other than who we are that the message becomes loud and clear . . . you need help! You never see ads or public announcements that say you are beautiful just the way you are … and we begin to believe that we can’t be beautiful unless we use the right products or do the right things to make us so. Pointed out to us in many ways is the message that there always is something we can improve upon, whether it is how we dress, our hair color and style, and, of course, any aspects of our body shape. All of this free advice only stimulates the thought that we are not perfect as we are and probably never will be, even though many of us feel compelled to strive throughout our life to be beautiful – always on another’s terms.

Thank God for those of us who have reached the stage in life where we gave up caring to be perfect and beautiful! And the exciting thing for many of us after getting to that stage in life is that we became more beautiful! How did that happen? What did we do differently?

We began to like ourselves as we are and became aware of some of the living aspects that create an inner glow that lightens our faces and adds sparkle to our eyes.

1. Gratitude
   We became increasingly aware of all our blessings and are grateful for them:  good health, good friends and family, and abundance in many forms.
2. Acceptance of Self
   We have had enough life experiences that taught us we weren’t perfect, and we finally gave in and accepted it. It became easier to say, “So what?”
3. No Comparisons
   We no longer compare ourselves with others, having learned that it might be our turn next if something wonderful happens to someone else.
4. Joy
   We find joy in the little things . . . a bird that sits in the tree and serenades us, a child giggling with a buddy, a call from an old friend, or joy in all those circumstances that bring us happiness.
5. Faith
   We have faith that all is as it should be, and if it isn’t, we have the power and strength to change what needs to be changed. We believe that we are not alone and are always protected by our guides and angels.

Now when I hear the expression “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder,” I know and appreciate who the beholder is – ME!

When I first shared with a friend that I was tired of my monotonous way of living and that what I really needed to do was go on an adventure, she looked at me in surprise. I, too, was amazed as I’d had no intention of revealing what had just popped out of my mouth. I watched her expression as she appraised me, and a thought came to mind that what I’d let escape was very similar to a story I’d read about “Winnie the Pooh,” who had also been seeking an adventure. If I remembered correctly, that hadn’t necessarily ended too well for him, for hadn’t he got stuck in the honey tree with his head inside a glass jar?

The longer I thought about Winnie the Pooh, the more I realized he was always seeking an adventure! Nothing ever stopped him, and for all intents and purposes, he led a great life. The more important thing was that he always moved forward no matter what the last adventure brought him. So what would it look like for me to have an adventure? What would it take?

Was taking a planned trip an adventure? Didn’t it require something more crazy and wild? I tend to be highly organized, so I’m sure I could complete every detail necessary for a journey, such as making reservations for any of my needs and creating a map of places I’d want to visit … right down to the day and time. When I thought of someone having a more incredible experience, I remembered being introduced to someone labeled an adventurer, always doing something out of the ordinary. Anticipating what that person had done, my heart had beaten a bit faster, for it was bound to be unique and exciting.

So what does it take to have an adventure? It’s always about taking a risk. To be adventuresome can be meaningless and no fun unless you are stepping out of the box or the comfort zone you are in. Just thinking of that freedom alone opens the door for possibilities to create your adventure. And even the little things you do in life can be an adventure. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go anywhere or do more than you are already doing and living. It boils down to how you look at life. William Feather says, “One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.”

I began to settle in with the idea that every day is an adventure because we don’t know what the day holds for us. It can be as simple as that, although the only way that works is by making the mundane something special by enjoying the surprise of things we hadn’t planned on or anticipated. Looking at it like that, it’s pretty exciting to me to view everyone as an adventurer in their way. So I add, “May your days be filled with adventure and gratifying surprises.”

Most of us easily express gratitude daily when we say “thank you” to someone for something they have given us or have done for us. But the truth is, we often say it more like a responsive habit without much feeling or thought. Expressing “thank you” as an acknowledgment of something positive that has affected us is valuable and positive for all parties involved. Yet, we often limit ourselves to view one situation at a time, easily forgetting the enormity of all we can be grateful for, which can be tremendous when acknowledged.

Animals are so expressive in their simplistic acts that they can touch us in ways that humans can’t. This is even true for our household animals who continuously show us their gratitude in little ways, all their own. Often, animals unwittingly play a leadership role in our lives because something will happen that focuses our attention on an event that brings home the moral consciousness of gratitude that we may have let slip.

In the news not long ago, there was a story regarding a whale that was in trouble.

“A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so badly off that the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her from the fishing net wrapped around her… a very dangerous proposition.

One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her from the ropes that had trapped her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.  She then returned to each diver, one at a time, nudged them, and pushed gently, thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The man who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.”

After reading that story, I was encouraged to be more grateful for what I did have and not focus on “coming from lack.”  But, in fact, I still needed a wake-up call.

As fate would have it, a friend of mine gave me a present that changed my outlook on my life for good. She handed me a package, and when I opened it, a mirror with words written along a spiraling circle lay in the box. The words began from the middle of the whorl and ended at the outside circle:  “Ask, Believe, Visualize, Act, and Enjoy.”  It is called a Gratitude Mirror, one that anyone can easily make. It came with printed gratitude statements stamped on soft plastic strips that easily adhere to the glass and  some blank strips so that I could make my own. She suggested that I hang my mirror in my bathroom because that is the first room in the house that I walk into each morning and the last room I am in at night. That would give me a way to start and end my day – with gratitude!

I hate to admit that the first one I made for myself was “I am grateful for my financial abundance.”  When I placed it near the printed one that read “I am grateful for all the abundance in my life,” I realized how limiting my statement was. I stood there and was ashamed that with my first statement, I was closing myself off to the greater abundance in my life – love, good health, friendship, beautiful surroundings, and so much more.

Then, I learned to expand the meaning of ABUNDANCE to include AWARENESS. By being more aware, I could know and experience how blessed and fortunate I am to be living with so much abundance in my life every day. And I am grateful.