With so much happening in the world today, people are questioning life as we know it and their role in it. It is impossible to ignore how many people verbalize and ask, “What is my purpose?” They want to know why they are here. Many are floundering and feeling at odds with being at peace with themselves, believing they have missed the mark.

For those who know me, my quick response to what I believe our purpose is—“To love. Love is the most important thing.”

Although I believe my response is the most meaningful, I learned something the other day that put a whole new perspective on finding purpose in life and how it can help others find theirs more definitively.

A dear friend of mine shares a house with her son, his wife, and two children. They share some of the chores and cooking. It is lovely for all of them and has worked out exceptionally well. Since it was her night to cook, we had to stop our conversation, and she ended it by saying, “It’s nice to have purpose.”

I thought about what she’d said and realized how out of whack most of us view the meaning of purpose. We are trained by society to believe in excessive terms when we define our purpose and our role in life.

My friend has a regular 9 to 5 job, and cooking dinner several times a week is just one of many things she does at home and in the larger world. Her idea that cooking gave her purpose made me look at the concept differently and more straightforwardly.

It means that as a writer of novels, I don’t have to be a best-seller to have meaning and a sense of accomplishment. Another friend, who earns more than six figures a year and feels he has failed because he hasn’t made $1 million, doesn’t have to reach that goal to have a sense of accomplishment. Have we reached the point where we think having a purpose means an extraordinary achievement? If so, does that mean anything less doesn’t count?

We know better than that. It’s the daily accomplishments that give us purpose in being. Beyond that, it’s a sense of gratitude for accomplishing those small tasks that bring us joy and a sense of purpose.

I have found myself amazed by some of the seniors I come in contact with and hear their stories about their life, bringing them to where they are today. We each accomplish so much in our way. It has made me wonder if our true purpose in life is to be open to the opportunities that come our way and, like the many seniors who feel fulfilled, treat those experiences as if it was like catching the brass ring on the merry-go-round of life. Then, maybe, our purpose is simply to enjoy life. What do you think?

Who doesn’t want to feel good about themselves, and what is going on in their life?  Yet, many times something pops up in what others may say or think about us that brings us to a low point, and we wonder what life is all about.  Some of us may even wonder if life is worth living. When we reach that point, and, let’s face it, most of us have at some time in our life, it forces us to re-assess where we are and how we got to that place.  For many of us, that is not easy to do, for we have been taught to act and present ourselves as something we are not. So how exactly do we regroup and move forward in life with joy or, if need be, without the thought of escaping life in some form?

Most of us arrive on earth howling at the indignity of being forced to leave a warm, nurturing space into an outside world of bright lights and noise. Soon, things begin to get better as we are being held and loved, allowing us the freedom to become curious about everything around us. As we grow and can move around a bit and voice our needs, we soon are steeped into watching and responding to others’ reactions regarding what we do or say. Those reactions then become deep-seated as to how we conduct our lives – whether to please or displease. Much of the time, we try to please others, and at other times we displease as a subconscious reaction to our own needs not being met. So, where does all of this lead?

Having come into this earth plane from a space of unconditional love and acceptance, we find ourselves at odds with our true self when we step outside of who we really are to search for unconditional love and acceptance from others.  As long as we look to others to provide that, we will never have it. We can’t truly accept unconditional love and acceptance from anyone else unless we feel that way about ourselves. That becomes harder and harder the more we are exposed to what society throws our way in what they present as the ideal – excessive money, power, beauty – all the things that most people in this world will never have. We are taught by society and through social media that we will never have enough money, power, or beauty – those things are reserved only for a few. That leads many of us to believe we must not deserve them and creates a sense of “lack” within ourselves, making it easy to push away gratitude for all the good things we do have in our life.

Understanding why many of us perform in society as a response to others’ reactions to what we do and say can free us to make different choices.  We no longer have to be restricted and focused on pleasing others.  We are empowered to explore our own talents and gifts to do things differently and succeed if we believe we have the right to be our own person – one that deserves all the best life has to offer. If you aren’t feeling good about yourself or things aren’t working out in your life the way you want them, it is time to choose differently.  Remember, life is simply a chain of choices.  Make one small choice in the direction you want, add another, then another is how you get to the place you want, one choice at a time. If you are escaping life and are trapped in a cycle of drinking alcohol or taking drugs or both, you may think there is no way out, and you are stuck in that emptiness that can only be eradicated when it is filled by loving life.  But the reality of it all is that all you need to do is make one choice not to drink or drug and then add another until it becomes a chain of choices to become addiction free. That is the beauty of life as a chain of choices. As you climb up that ladder of being addiction free, you are better able to look at life differently and see how exquisite it is to experience what it has to offer.  Believe, trust, and make it happen.

“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” – Arthur Rubinstein

Let’s face it!  We are experiencing a very messy, angry way of living today with so many societies throughout the world in conflict with each other as well as individuals at odds with others within each of those societies.  I would like to say that this upheaval is something new but, unfortunately, it’s not.

As humans we have a propensity to gather negativity like furious little cancer cells that race to make a small irritation one large mass of anger and upset causing us to destroy good thoughts and deeds.  We even get caught up in power struggles between what one person believes vs. another’s belief.  We stubbornly hold unto our own ideas without any willingness to look at a different perspective which doesn’t allow for a broadening of knowledge which can create a greater chance for resolution.

Right now the most notable happening in our country is the presidential election which has provided the opportunity for us to shout hate slogans; accuse people of doings without proof; encourage harm done to those who don’t agree with us; excuse behavior so unbecoming that it hinges on lunacy; lose the sense of propriety that different perspectives should require, and lay blame on anyone but ourselves for our discontent.

And we humans LOVE all of this upheaval!  People haven’t become this engaged in what is going on around them in quite a while and it’s mostly due to the dark, negativity that abounds.  And we keep demanding more and more of this low energy because it is easier to hate than to love, which makes us a very lazy society indeed.

It’s hard to fully escape what is happening due to all the social media in place today.  The most disheartening thing for me to have seen on television was an average-looking family (mom, dad and two small children) wearing tee shirts with a slogan of hate written across it standing together in a crowd of protesters raising their fists in anger and shouting their slogan for all to see and hear.  Spittle flying and loud shouting must have been what caused the little girl to look up at her mother in confusion.  Sensing her dismay, her mother reached down and lifted her arm to show her how to shake it in anger.  The child had no real idea of what was going on or why but unwittingly was being taught her first step in developing blameful anger toward anyone who did not agree with her.  Hate begetting hate.

How can anyone find peace amid all of what is going on in our country and the rest of the world?  I can only share with you how I have come to be successful in finding my own peace.

• First of all, I try to avoid social media or talk with another that has anything to do with the election for it is hard to dismiss that negative energy after entertaining it for it becomes like gum to a shoe.  It sticks around for a while.
• The second thing I do is meditate to remind myself to let go of the idea that it is my responsibility to try to change anyone’s mind toward my own beliefs, not allowing them their own perspective.  In other words, I need to allow each person their own path in thinking and doing.  My role is to keep the faith that all will work out as it should.
• The third thing that I do on a daily basis is to say my “gratitudes” – all the things I am grateful for which by doing so automatically raises my energy to the highest level of love.  When I am in that space of awareness of all the beauty that surrounds me and all the positive things in my life, I no longer have the desire to entertain anything less.  I know I am blessed no matter my circumstances.
• The last thing I do is repeat my mantra.  To be completely at peace with myself and all the craziness that surrounds me, I developed a mantra that I repeat each night before I go to bed – “I send love and blessings to each and every one.  May we know and feel the love of God and know in our hearts we are all connected – all one – and treat each other the way we want to be treated.”

There is so much stress for everyone living today that it becomes essential to do what is necessary to climb out of our rabbit holes and find our peace within.  For each of us that may be different.  I only know that my rituals have helped me and continue to do so as long as I stick with them. Perhaps they will bring you peace as well.

Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.”  Spirit says, “Find your peace, then everything will fall into place.” – Marianne Williamson

“Peace comes within.  Do not seek it without.” – Gautama Buddha