Many of us are sitting with ourselves, trying to figure out the best way to fill our time now that any normal routine seems to be out of the question. We live in such turmoil and with impossible situations today that are beyond our control, for the most part!

During COVID-19, some doctors and nurses have been called upon to choose between patients to receive needed care. First responders, not often recognized, include all those who offer everyday services, such as food clerks, post office personnel, garage disposal workers, Uber and bus drivers, and so many more—all at risk.

We are asked not to socialize with others or to do so with restrictions. That alone isn’t easy since socialization is a huge necessity for most human beings’ mental health. We are asked not to be personally affronted when another person refuses to wear a mask. Those people selfishly call it their personal freedom not to wear them, while others, like me, take it as an offensive sign that they don’t care whether they spread the disease to me or anyone else.

And I won’t even get into the divided politics—the accusations, the lies, loss of civility, and more!

So, where does that leave us? With the self-isolation required to keep safe and COVID free, we’re forced to consider where we are in life. Our economy is taking such a hit, and the majority of us are scrambling to keep a roof over our heads and food on our tables, requiring us to look at things differently.

If lack of money seems so inevitable for most of us, what will we come to value? Will community and friendship become more critical? Will we concentrate more on taking care of Mother Earth so that our grandchildren can enjoy clear air? Will we look for ways to help others, or will we not care about anyone but ourselves? Will we be strong enough to withstand the negativity of living today?

We will be facing many choices ahead, and the idea of that causes stress for many of us. So, what can we do to keep grounded and not lose ourselves in the muck? Certainly, one of the easiest things for us to do is to take the time to meditate. Doing so allows us to let things be!

There are times when we are the most powerful by doing nothing—meaning not trying to control everyone and everything in our lives. Clearing our minds allows us to let go of judgment of ourselves and others and begin to look at the possibilities open to us during this period.

I certainly don’t want to proclaim that this is a beautiful period in our lives, but I want to talk about one of the positive things from our period of isolation. This is a great time to do something different—to do something we’ve always wanted to do, but didn’t have the time or made other excuses not to do it.

I was buoyed up by listening to a woman on the radio the other day say that she inherited a piano from her family weeks ago. Although it had been in her home growing up, she’d never learned to play it. Now, with time on her hands, she was doing something she always wanted to do—take piano lessons.

I have a friend who used to paint portraits and still life. During her hibernation, she has moved away from painting that which already exists to paint what her eye sees and express it emotionally through abstract art. It has opened up a whole new world for her.

One of my neighbors is a schoolteacher, and she is taking the time to finally sit down and write poetry, which she has wanted to do for a long time. This pandemic has opened the space for her to fulfill her dream of becoming a poet, and she is now submitting her poems to be published.

So, the possibilities of fulfilling a wish or hidden desire are there for the asking. It is a time to express ourselves in other ways … it is a time to be grateful to be alive.

When is the last time you did a happy dance?  That dance that reminds you and lets anyone watching you know that life is good?  When is the last time you looked into a mirror and ignored your wrinkles and other marks of living a stressful life and were able to exclaim out loud, “You‘ve got it going, girl?” I mean … said it and felt it?  If it’s been a while, it’s time for you to regroup and get into that space of appreciating who you are.

I know for myself it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I get into a state where I can do my happy dance when events and people do and say things that begin to unravel the appreciation I have for myself.  And I’m not alone.  We are continually reminded that life is all about riding the roller coaster of frequently feeling up and down and experiencing good and bad happenings.  And we find ourselves easily buying into that and are willing to accept that premise as something that is always going to be there and can’t be changed.  Or can it?

The reality is that we live with other people in our lives, whether on a personal level or a more distant or superficial one.  Through the media, we have become acquainted with what is going on worldwide and have a bird’s eye view into what other people are doing and saying, which can affect us whether in a significant or very minor way. Much of what we see and hear is negative, bringing us down to worrying about things we have no control over. Therein lies the real issue.  For how can we dance our happy dance with so much in the world going sideways?

I have found the best piece of advice of how we can exist and feel good about ourselves is when we understand our limitations – that it doesn’t make sense for us to claim responsibility for anyone or anything outside our control or influence.  That comes from the AA serenity prayer,  “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  For me, this says it all. 

When we realize that happiness begins and ends within our own power of being, we can become happy, self-assured, confident, and worthy of good self-esteem.  And that increases each time we can put ourselves to bed at night knowing we have done the best we could during the day to live up to that prayer.  That doesn’t mean we won’t have days wishing we could have a do-over because we are human and not perfect in all our choices.  So, my friend, use some of these words from the Happy Dance song and create your own happy dance:

Hey, yeah, you
In the back of the room with those concrete shoes
It’s okay to cut loose
Oh, it ain’t about how you move, but what moves you
We’re so consumed with what we think we’re supposed to be
That we stop living like we know that we’re free.