Wedding Dress

Amazing Resilience

By Joan S. Peck

Resilience meant so many more things to me when I was younger. Now when I think of the word resilience or its meaning of flexibility, the first thought that flashes through my mind is whether someone, particularly my age, has the ability to easily bend down and touch their toes — and get back up again! That is what age can do for you! It’s all about perspective, right?

But I know better than that. That ability to be flexible and zag when zig doesn’t work out plays a large part in our life from the time we are born to our last breath. It all boils down to how well we recover from difficult situations — no matter how minor.

We begin to get a glimpse of a child’s ability to be irrepressible early on when someone takes a toy away from him. We then have the opportunity to see if he is adaptable and is able to find a substitute or merely sits there intractable unable to get beyond having had someone remove a pleasure from him. From our early days to now, we are tested on how we choose to life. We all receive many opportunities to demonstrate our resiliency and to overcome adversity. That is life.

Resilience is about our ability to withstand, deal, and recover from difficult situations. We are left to do that each time we have a dream destroyed or a loved one passes. Even the smaller trials in life can have a profound effect on us. Personally for me, I find that humor helps — if not my own, someone else’s.

Here is a great story I read about Kevin Cotter that brought a smile:

“In 2009, after 12 years of marriage, Cotter’s wife divorced him, leaving behind only her wedding dress. Heartbroken and confused, Cotter asked his departing wife what he was supposed to do with the gown. Her reply? Whatever he wanted.

“Cotter took his ex’s suggestions to heart and started the blog, My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress in 2011, where he documented over a hundred alternative uses he found for the piece. Cotter’s creations spanned from the silly to the utilitarian. The dress has seen new life as a kite, Halloween costume, hammock, oven mitt, jump rope and more.

The jilted husband’s journey to transform his ex’s parting gift became so popular that it was recently turned into the book 101 Uses for My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress. Now, with his creative energy exhausted, Cotter has turned the focus of his blog to a different subject: his life with his new wife and kids.”

I guess for me each time I hit a bump in the road, I’d like to think I’ve learned how to have more grace as I get back up on my feet again.  There’s also something to be said about appreciating the journey. But one thing is for sure, life is never without challenges and the opportunity to overcome them, and it’s always interesting to see what that looks like.

“Resilience isn’t a single skill. It’s a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.” Jean Chatzky

“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” Elizabeth Edwards